Jessie Macbeth: The unauthorized Biography
Voted "most likely to lose his virginity posthumously in a funeral home scandal", Jessie Macbeth was always a young man who skulked around the fringes of society. As a child, young Jessie was well known by the county sheriff's department as "that brown haired kid" because his parents frequently forgot he existed and left him at the mall, local parks and even at dentist office once when he was having a cavity filled. Never a stand out, Jessie was determined to finally make a name for himself and in 2004 he flew to Hawaii to audition for Fox's American Idol. Just as Jessie was about to audition for Simon, Paula and Randy, fate again intervened when the hotel lobby's HVAC unit turned on and blew the paper number right off his back! At that moment, Ryan Seacrest, mistook Jessie for a member of the hotel staff and enlisted him as a doorman, again derailing his quest for fame. With his shot at Hollywood gone, Jessie drifted from one pointless pursuit to another, living in his uncle's 1978 Pinto and wearing a used Army desert camo uniform that he purchased for $9.17 at an Army/Navy Surplus store.
As it turned out, that purchase would be the single act that propelled Jessie to infamy. Read the rest of Jessie's story here.
Disclaimer: This biography is almost as untrue as Jessie's claims of military service... almost.
