Soccer Mom: Unplugged

raves, rants, reviews and recounts of life in middle America

2007/5/7

Green birth control

@ 05:24 AM (17 months, 12 days ago)

Eco-friendly spermicide?  Biodegradable condoms?  Nope.  The greenies now want us to reduce mankind's carbon emissions by limiting childbirth.  2 kiddos per family is apparently the new limit, according to an Orwellian proposal by John Guillebaud, co-chairman of the Optimum Population Trust.

I'd like to offer the following counterproposals:

(1) Limit bean intake across the planet. (Rationing could also be applied to other cruciferous vegetables.)

(2) Eliminate Hollywood and the acting profession entirely.  No more trips to the theater or Blockbuster.

(3) Reduce the USPS delivery to twice weekly for packages only.  Standard mail would be completely eliminated and e-mail would become the new standard. (Already in progress)

(4) For every child over 2 a family has, stone one enviro-nazi (or global warming endorsing celebrity) in the public square.  Oh relax!  I wouldn't really stone them - that's so brutal.  I think we should take a more reasoned approach using the partial birth abortion model and bash their heads in, then suck their teeny tiny brains out. LOL. 

Hmmm.  I think that would be a good start to reducing our carbon footprint.  Any more ideas out there?

 

Comment(s) »

  1. bwahahahahaaaaaaaa

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/05/07 @ 10:32 AM — (Reply)

  2. Well, I've always thought that folks should have to take a test before having a baby. We require that they show the ability to drive before we give them a driver's license... isn't child-rearing more important to society than driving a car?

    It should be a simple test. Here's my suggestion:

    1) Is NASCAR a sport? (Check one)

    _ YES
    _ NO

    Anyone who clicks YES would be sent off for immediate sterilization.

    Comment by Michael— 2007/05/07 @ 10:42 AM — (Reply)

  3. Gee Harry, be careful or your limosine liberal policies will become public knowledge.

    How about about women's beach volleyball? A sport?

    Comment by Barry G.— 2007/05/22 @ 07:35 PM — (Reply)

  4. of course it is ????? if u have to ask ...than ur not frm 'round her ......huh .....bwahahahaaa

    Comment by aza spade— 2007/05/07 @ 11:16 AM — (Reply)

  5. 1) Outlaw the ownership of private aircraft seating more than four, including crew.

    2) Limit the televising of moonbat celebrities' opinions to one per month per moonbat -- and then only between two and four AM.

    3) Eliminate all TV "reality" shows as contributing to the decline of the American people, thus saving megawatts of TV-wasting power, to say nothing of the CO2 generated by their couch-potato poots.

    4) Deny public exposure [all kinds] to the ditsy "beautiful people", thus saving reams of newsprint, gallons of ink, megs of Reddy Kilowatt, etc. [Paris, Barbra, and that poptart former singer whose name escapes me, come to mind. Oh yeah, include "Liverlips" Baldwin just to be gender-neutral.]

    [I feel better now...thanks, Miss Cate.]

    Comment by Rollo— 2007/05/08 @ 03:00 AM — (Reply)

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