Soccer Mom: Unplugged

raves, rants, reviews and recounts of life in middle America

2006/9/19

Ripped from the Headlines (doink doink)

@ 06:56 PM (25 months, 1 day ago)

It was a busy day in the Wonderful World of Mommywifelandia...  6 hours of homeschooling punctuated with brief interruptions of insanity.  In the midst of the normal mayhem, I put the little ones on auto pilot with writing assignments and check the blog to find a mysterious message from someone trying to reach me.  Turns out it's a producer from the Montel Show who has been reading my blog and is interested in adding my voice to a round table discussion with the likes of some very famous people.  Me.  I read her email, looking for the punchline.  Huh.  Not very funny, this girl, I say to myself.  So we make contact and have a chat about why I'd be perfect (her view) and why I wouldn't (my view) for this shot at my 15 minutes.  If she'd seen me in my gym clothes, pushing greasy bangs out of my face while stripping four twin beds and loading the washer, she probably would have been easier to convince.  Of course, during the conversation, my five year old has a, um, potty accident and my darling one year old awakens from her nap, a little less than rested.  Yeah, I think,  I've got something to say to America...ROTFLMBO.  I'm barely getting life back together when the neighbor boys burst through my front door.  They don't even speak to me (or for that matter go to their own homes after school) anymore,  they just run upstairs calling out for my 7 year old.  And then the phone rings.  It's the man who brought me all this happiness... Mr. Cate.  He rode to work with his boss this morning as they were headed out to a job site and didn't come back by the house to pick up his car.  Now the top dog has been called away unexpectedly leaving Mr. Cate stranded.  I pack the kids into the minivan to make the hour long trek to his office.  Doesn't end yet... we get home and we're out of milk.  So no commentary on the shape of the world today.  No condemnation of a culture careening toward the cavernous crevasse of chaos.  Just a quick look at the headlines that caught my eye in passing and my one line assessment - pure free association... enjoy ;-)

Headline:  Ted Turner Says Iraq War Among History's Dumbest Moves

Cate:  Along with the night Ted's mother said "Well, okay..."

Headline: Sean Penn May Play Einstein for TV Film

Cate: That's gonna require enrollment in the Annie Sullivan school of acting

Headline: Texas County considers funding free gastric bypasses for Obese Employees

Cate: At $15,000 a piece???  How about you stop screwing over the taxpayer and force them all to compete for an Extreme Makeover!

Headline: Mexican President Vicente Fox Pledges to Extradite All Wanted Drug Lords to U.S.

Cate: Why not?  He already sent us the drug runners. 

Feel free to add your own headlines & responses.  I could use a laugh after the day I've had.

Comment(s) »

  1. Hey Cate,

    Congratulations on being recognized as a significant voice!! They gonna pay you to appear on Montel?? You going to let us out in anonymous land have a glimpse at the person behind the words?!

    Whatever you decide, I'm glad that you are being recognized. Were I you, I sure wouldn't put myself out there... just asking for more trouble than you've already got. ;)

    Comment by Michael— 2006/09/19 @ 08:11 PM — (Reply)

  2. I declined, Michael. The only way I'd take the heat on camera would be if I had a backspace/ delete key mounted to my forehead. I have no tact in person - I just say whatever I'm thinking and I have one of those pitifully readable faces. :lol::lol::lol: Can you imagine me with Al Sharpton, G. Gordon Liddy, Rita Cosby... I'd be comedic relief!

    Comment by Cate— 2006/09/19 @ 08:16 PM — (Reply)

  3. "I'm (you're) nationwide" - famous American philosophers ZZ Top

    Comment by elmers brother— 2006/09/19 @ 08:24 PM — (Reply)

  4. Hey, you! Where've you been? Over at Albert's again? You are poking the hornet's nest aren't you?

    BTW, I emailed Brooke a heads up but the Montel folks got to her first. I also sent them to Amy Proctor. Surely, they'll find another average American wife and mother who likes to scream at the television set :lol:

    Comment by Cate— 2006/09/19 @ 08:31 PM — (Reply)

  5. somehow average and motherhood do not belong in the same sentence...it's too hard of a job

    I have been traveling and working all day...I expected to get home today but alas the life of a field engineer...hopefully tomorrow

    Comment by elmers brother— 2006/09/19 @ 08:36 PM — (Reply)

  6. That's rough. All those years serving away from home and now on the road again.

    I hate family separation - even overnighters. Every noise in the house seems strangely unfamiliar when the LTC(almost ret) is gone.

    Comment by Cate— 2006/09/19 @ 08:43 PM — (Reply)

  7. I'm not complaining. The other engineers who live here travel out of state. In the year since I have this job I only have had to do that once.

    I think my wife likes it too much though.

    Comment by elmers brother— 2006/09/19 @ 08:46 PM — (Reply)

  8. Mr Cate used to say that our marriage was such a good one because long before I could get sick of him he'd go on deployment :lol:

    Absence makes the heart grow fonder (or is that... go wander? I can never remember :lol:)

    Comment by Cate— 2006/09/19 @ 08:51 PM — (Reply)

  9. for us the deployments meant sweet sweet reunions and a stronger marriage...we didn't get used to them...we tolerated them

    My wife is the low maintenance one...I on the other hand

    I also had more people to miss and that seemed to make it harder sometimes...counting the days...especially at the beginning of a 5-6 month deployment..I can't complain a lot of other people were separated much longer than I

    Comment by elmers brother— 2006/09/19 @ 08:55 PM — (Reply)

  10. Yeah - the reunions are great! It's like falling in love all over again.

    The predeployment is worse than the actual separation. It's like waiting for the walk to the gallows. Once he was gone, I always toughened up and managed fine.

    I can't believe it's after midnight here. This crazy day of mine has me up late again getting tomorrow's lessons ready. I'm gonna have a huge sleep debt!

    Comment by Cate— 2006/09/19 @ 09:06 PM — (Reply)

  11. ahhh call the bank and ask for a loan

    Some of my fondest memories were seeing my family on the pier or the tarmac waiting for me

    If you are familiar with sign language we use the "I love you" sign all the time...the kids at the window when I left or on the pier etc. Good memories.

    Comment by — 2006/09/19 @ 09:12 PM — (Reply)

  12. I guess he got tired of collecting all that DNA..oh wait a minute that's Maury..nevermind...

    I'd rather do Jerry Springer..a good brawl between Sharpton and Liddy would have been hilarious and I could hear the crowd chanting "Cathy...Cathy"

    Comment by elmers brother— 2006/09/19 @ 08:27 PM — (Reply)

  13. my typos are terrible...where's someone to correct me....actually I have had to travel out of state twice

    Comment by elmers brother— 2006/09/19 @ 08:48 PM — (Reply)

  14. Cate, I appreciate the mention, but there was no way I could do it, what with my brood and the hubby's schedule, ect!

    I forwarded on to Eyes All Around and AOW!

    Besides, I would either get punched in the face by Al Sharpton, or get assassinated by the Nation of Islam! LOL!:razz:

    Comment by Brooke— 2006/09/22 @ 10:37 AM — (Reply)

  15. You know Brooke, even if I'd been able to do it logistically, I probably would have said no simply because of the topic. You can't talk about race in America. It's like asking your husband if you "look fat in these jeans". Totally loaded topic. Not to mention if you disagree at all with Al Sharpton or anyone who uses race as a weapon, you're going to be labeled a racist. And I'm not up for having to live down baseless ad hominem attacks.
    Besides Viacom isn't buying my extortion demands... ;-)

    Comment by Cate— 2006/09/22 @ 04:56 PM — (Reply)

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